he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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