people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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