I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
