You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Drunk is not a location!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
