Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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