She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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