My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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