Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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