I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
