i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
