Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
