we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
