he puts the penis in happiness.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
