The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
