If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
