tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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