Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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