he shaved USA in his pubs
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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