I skipped work to stalk him.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
