i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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