So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am one with the molecules
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
