I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We had sex on a dog bed..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
