i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
