people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
