I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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