its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
