She said her name was "party"
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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