scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
