But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
