Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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