the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Come see our sink grown plant.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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