Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
