I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
