plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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