I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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