He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
