I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
