My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
