Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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