u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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