**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
