At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
