ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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