They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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