If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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