doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
