they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
