If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
