"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
