I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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