The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
