Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
