Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
