New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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